So much Fun!!!

So last night was so much fun!! My friends and I went to the Bishops house for dinner and we had an awesome time. After that we were bored and thought we would go and see a movie but there wasn't anything playing that we wanted to see. So we decided to get bundled up (not enough I might add) and go to Christmas Village. It was SOOOOOO cold but sooo much fun. We took this picture of all 4 of us and tied the camera from this light and then just put it on a timer and hoped that it would swing the right way when it went off and it did. I will post it as soon as I get a copy from Jordan. After that fun adventure we went out to watch some of my friends play indoor soccer. (I know, I hate soccer but we were bored.) Then we all went with Scott and Ben to Dee's to get hot chocolate (and cheese fries) and we stayed there until 1:00 this morning. It was so much fun. Ihave not laughed that much in a long time. There are for sure pictures to come of this fun event!

Christmas is getting so close and I am trying to get in the spirit but I can't seem to concentrate on anything cuz of finals. At least I have them this week and then I will be done for a couple of weeks. YEAH!!!

Mom ( and I guess dad too) are sooo cute. This year for christmas they decided to do the twelve days of christmas for all of us kids instead of having us open a lot of presents on christmas. They wrote this whole letter about it and about what the theme is and then they numbered all of the gifts and put a letter on each of those too. Today I got the animals that go with my willow tree nativity. It is so much fun. I love that it will make Christmas last longer. I love it!!!

So my niece Lilly is so funny. I have gotten a phone call from her almost everyday this week. (She will turn 2 this month.) I tell you what for someone who doesn't speak english (or any other language for that matter) we talk on the phone for quite some time. She is constantly laughing. My sister says that she just puts her head in her hand and laughs. It is so much fun. She calls me JZZZ (just sound it out) and none of us know why cuz the rest of the kids call me Kikki but she is a sweatheart. I love our talks!

Thanksgiving

Today is Thanksgiving...therefore I thought I would write of things that I am grateful for.
*I am grateful first and formost for the LOVE of the SAVIOR in my life. Not only is he my SAVIOR but my BROTHER. He loves me no matter what becuase I am his LITTLE SISTER.
*I am grateful for a Heavenly FATHER and MOTHER that know me and love me better than anyone else ever has or ever will. I am grateful for the KNOWLEDGE that I have about them.
*I am grateful for the Holy Ghost. His spirit is the most comforting feeling and helps me when no one else in this world can.
*I am grateful for a family that sealed together for all of ETERNITY.
*I am grateful for a dad who has always been worthy of the priesthood and has shown me that he loves me in his own special ways.
*I am grateful for my mother and for the friend that she is to me. I am grateful for all of the talks that we have no matter what time of night or morning it is.
*I am grateful for the best brothers and sisters in the world (including in-laws). I am grateful for the relationship we have and that I know I can always count on any of you.
*Today my heart is overflowing with love for my little brother Caden. I miss him so much. But I am so grateful for the example he is and always has been to me. Our relationship is one that I don't have with anyone else. I am grateful that he is on a mission. I am grateful that he is serving the Lord in a way I never did. I am grateful that Caden is my little brother and will be forever.
*I am grateful for an education. I am so blessed to have not only been able to go to school but to go to college and get a degree in something that I love so that I can help other people.
*I am grateful that I am able to read and write.
*I am grateful for the place that I live and for the freedoms that this country has given me.
*I am grateful for anscestors and people that went before me, who endured endless trial and tribulation just so I could have a better life.
*I am grateful for the Temple and the feeling I have when I am there. I am grateful that I am worthy to go into Gods house and participate in sacred ordinances to give back the the people who have given so much for me.
*I am grateful that there is a plan. Not only a plan but a plan of HAPPINESS.
*I am grateful to know that no matter how lost or frustrated I may feel in my life my Father in Heaven has a plan specifically for me.
*I am grateful for nieces and nephews and their endless hugs and kisses. I am grateful that i am an aunt and that I live so close to those choice spirits that are in our family.
*I am grateful for grandparents and the testimony that they have of the gospel. I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to have them in my life and to have been able to get to know them and love them.
I could go on and on and on of things I am grateful for. But somethings just cannot be put into words. Therefore I will end here and hope that we all have a thanksgiving not stuffing ourselves with food, but with gratitude and love for the things that we have.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Movin On

I decided I had better update my blog so that people don't just think that I am pining over my relationship with Paul. I'm not. You know the time when you are in the shower and the water is so hot that it is burning your entire body but you feel so numb inside that you can't even feel the pain? The only way you can tell that it even happened is by the redness of your skin when you are finished. Well I had one of those showers a couple of weeks ago. It was my last moment that I allowed myself feel broken over it all. It was during then that I decided that I needed to move on. I had done everything in my power to work this out but it just wasn't going to happen. I wish Paul the best and I hope that he is safe in Iraq. I will still pray for him like I do everyone else that is serving our country. It is because of them that I live the way I do and I will be grateful to him for that.

I went to Twilight with one of my friends and I didn't think it was possible to fall in love all over again with that story but I did. I am a devout Jacob fan but I must say, if all vampires are like Edward Cullen, I would be more than happy to fall in love with one anytime.

So I have a new..old friend. His name is Justin. He and I went to school together in junior high and high school. He was a senior when I was a sophmore and we talked to each other a couple times through friends. Well he and I just happen to be working at the same place for Christmas. We haven't seen eachother in a long time so it was fun to catch up on eachother. We have gone out a couple times and it is fun. He makes me smile. We are kinda just goin one day at a time cuz we both just got out of relationships but the thing I like about it, is that we are just honest about everything with eachother. It is fun to just be with someone that makes you laugh. I can't say very much about it yet but when Justin finally decides that I am pretty much perfect maybe he will let me write more. ;)

I am so excited for Thanksgiving. It has to be one of my very favorite holidays! I love waking up in the morning and wrapping up in a blanket to watch the parade on TV. Then of course the smells of incredible food all day? The only thing better than that is when you get to eat it. I love turkey. Yum! My sister in law Dee makes the BEST sweet potatas (to be said with southern accent) EVER!! I could eat just a pan of that. LOVE. On top of the incredible food is the family. I have been so blessed to live so close to all of my family my whole life. We are talking aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, everyone. Not very many people in this world can say that. My family means more to me than anything else in this world. Thanskgiving to me is family and tradition. I love it all!!!

Now about the title of the blog. First off of course I had to change it from Adams Apple (no explenation needed) and so I have been trying to think of what else I could title it. Obviously I can't change the address of my blog but I was just thinking that I could totally be in love with McDreamy off of greys anatomy. He is pretty hot. As far as the sugar spice thing I know that it is supposed to say Sugar, spice and everything nice but my life isn't always like that. Therefore the new title of my blog is now Sugar, Spice, and everything....ELSE!

No Air

The title of my blog today is "No Air". This song represents what my life felt like this morning when Paul told me he was having a hard time with our relationship. I wasn't expecting that to happen. There has been a lot of gossip and crap goin around about us but I always thought that we would make it through whatever we were faced with together. It was a rude awakening when I noticed that he changed his status on facebook to single and all of this happened over the internet. We didn't even talk about it. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I didn't know what to do anymore. I have been spending so much time planning my life with him that it is the only way I saw my future. It took me a while to re-adjust to the fact that we won't be getting married. I won't be moving out to California with him. I won't get updates anymore knowing if he is ok or not. Obama being elected as President really doesn't make a difference to me now because whether or not he brings home the troops early from Iraq, I still won't be at the airport to run up and hang on to someone that means so much to me. Today is a day with no air.

I hate war. Not only the physical war with Iraq but the war of the world. I hate the war that turns people against each other no matter your race, your age, or your relationship. I hate the war that feels like the grand canyon has been created between two people when really they are only an arms length away. I hate the war between your heart and your head.I hate the war between thought and action. I hate the war between what society thinks is right and what you know is right. I hate WAR. Because of war, today is a day with no air.

Spiritual Experience

Yesterday I had one of the most incredible experiences yet. I was able to watch the delivery of my new niece without a name. It was amazing. My sweet sister in law DeeAnn invited me and my sisters into the delivery room. To see the magnificent calling that we as women have been given to bring children into this world was a very spiritual experience for me. Now this sweet little girl who is in our family, who just came from heaven, is ours to love and to lead. Now if my brother would just pick out a name it would make the moment that much sweeter.

So I started my new seasonal job at Deseret Book. I had training last night and I think it is going to be pretty fun. There are a lot of fun people to work with and so I am looking forward to it. I am actually working with a couple of people that I went to high school with and we seem to see a lot of people that we know so it is fun to kinda have the reunion of it all.

School is moving so quickly. I only have 3 more weeks of clinicals (yeah!!!). I hope I pass pharmacology though. I don't know if it is going to happen for sure. It has been a super hard class. I don't really like it. All of my other classes are going really well though.

I think that is all I have to say for today. I really just wanted to write about Dee having the baby. Congratulations you guys!!!

VENTING

So I am not doing as good as I hoped I would be doing on this, but sometimes it is hard to come up with things to say. Last week was crazy and no fun. I failed 2 tests, my clinicals at the hospital did not go well, and to top it all off, I have a super soar throat that won't go away. GRRR.... (thats how I feel about it in case you didn't get it the first time.)

Moving on to greener pastures. Paul sent me some gorgeous flowers on Saturday. After I had got them and was talking to him about it he told me that he didn't know what they looked like, he just knew they were my favorite and so he sent me those ones. He is so sweet!! I love him. Sometimes I wonder why it all worked out the way it did. I mean we grew up together for cryin out loud and for some reason God thought it should work out just as he was leaving for WAR. What? I think I missed something. I grew up with the thought that Paul and I had absolutely NOTHING in common. I thought we were complete opposites. I am so glad that I was wrong because now he is my best friend. I don't know what I did to deserve someone like him but I thank God everyday that he is in my life now. I am so happy that we are together and I guess that understanding why we had to wait so long to be together is just going to have to come later.

Update on Paul. He is doing as good as can be assumed I guess. Right now he is on an extremely good base. One of the safest in Iraq. He has access to computers and phones everyday. It has one of the best hospitals that are there. They get cooked meals and he is taken care of pretty well. Paul just found out a couple of days ago though, that he is being sent to another base for the next two to three months. This base is not so safe. There is no way of communicating (ya we are talkin like, I won't hear anything from him for 2-4 weeks at a time). There is no electricity, no running water and he gets to eat those nasty meals in a bag. I think they're called MRE's or somethin. (he hates them and doesn't eat them so I have to send him some real food ASAP) Pretty much, he takes showers with a water bottle and baby wipes. Now Paul is a strong guy. He is 23 years old and has been taken care of himself for a long time. I know that he will survive the no water, no electricity, and the nasty food. It is the safety issue that I worry about. I just don't know why they had to chose him to do it. (Probably cuz he is good.) The Lord probably gets sick of hearing my prayers for him because I am constantly blessing him to be safe and to come home soon. But I guess this is teaching me that maybe I am prayin for the wrong thing. Maybe instead, I need to pray for the courage to accept what I may not understand right now. And I guess that includes praying for the faith to put Paul in the Lord's hands instead of my own.

Today was my vent day it sounds like. Sometimes I just need those days though. I think all of us do. In a way, I think it is our way of saying we cannot do it alone. We need the hugs that people give, we need the smiles and support of family and friends and sometimes we need someone just to listen. This is my way of saying I am scared to death that the person I love the most in this world may not come home. This is my way of admitting to the feelings that I have been trying so hard to cover up. For so long I have been trying to be strong and supportive for Paul even though it is him always being stronger for me. Some things happen whether you are ready for them or not. But at least now I know that I will be ok. And so will Paul...

Birthday

So I had a super fun birthday!!! My parents got me an I-pod (since my dad decided to steal mine and put his ridiculous cowboy music on there for some reason.) My mom got up super early and made me coffee cake for breakfast (which I love.) I got out of school early, and was home by myself for a few hours. That has not happened in a long time and I loved it!! Then once all of the guys got home from Deer Hunting, we went and ate at Good Wood. It was fabulous. My favorite part though was the hugs and songs I got from my nieces and nephews.

Sunday night we celebrated my birthday and at my Grandma Carter's house she was hilarious. We were already eating cake and she all of a sudden felt bad for not singing to me and thought I needed to blow out some candles. I told her that I was fine and I had already done it somewhere else but she wanted me to remember this birthday. So she got out the candles that are shaped into numbers, but she didn't have a two. So she decided to just do an upside down 5. It was so funny cuz when she went to light them she realized that the wicks were in the cake and she had nothing to light. We were all laughing for a long time. She did get her wish though, I won't forget this birthday.

I have some pictures I am going to post finally of our girls weekend. It was so fun!!!

P.S. I got an e-mail from Paul today and he was out on another mission but made it back safe. Whew!!!

Girls Weekend

So this past weekend all of the boys in my family (except for Caden who is on his mission) went deer hunting. So all the girls decided to have a girls weekend and it has been a blast! My sister in law DeeAnn and I came out to my sister Cami's house and we have been staying with her all weekend. I was blessed to sleep in the bed with Cami last night....the same night she took half of an ambien. I don't know if anyone else has experienced someone on ambien but it is quite the show. She thought Dee and I would like to watch some cartoons. Ya...not so much. I would probably be in trouble if I posted the rest of the fun evening. Sorry....

Yesterday my darling niece Lilly and I went shopping so I could get some jeans. It was a quick in and out of the mall. Lilly decided to not be so happy (I don't know why...I mean what girl does not love shopping.) So anyway she was screaming in the dressing room of vanity with me. It was lovely (should be said with a lot of sarcasm.)

Just a story about deer hunting and my birthday. (it's my birthday tomorrow by the way.) So my dad is big into hunting and my mom was supposed to have me in October. Well my mom had to be started on a Sunday (cuz my dad doesn't hunt on Sunday) so that he would be able to hunt. So while my mom is in the hospital my dad would drive down the mountain to a phone every few hours to check up on her and see when he needed to come to the hospital. Isn't that great? (once again, the sarcasm voice.) I was very lucky though to have been born on my great grandmother's birthday. We had so much fun sharing a birthday together and even though she has passed away now I still feel like we celebrate our birthdays together.

I am going to eat dinner with the girls and then go celebrate my birthday at my grandparents. I will take pictures and post them later.

P.S. i would update on paul, except that I haven't heard from him in the past 3 days.....

Once upon a time...

Once upon a time there was a little girl named Nicole. She loved to play house and imagine the time that she would get married to her very own prince. One Sunday when she was nine, Nicole went to church with her family. She was talking to her friends about how fun it was to play the day before and about all of the extremely important things that little girls talk about. All of a sudden, something caught her eye. A NEW BOY and he was walking her way. His name was Paul Adams, he was in her primary class and he was SOOO CUTE. That very day, Nicole went home and wrote in her journal about "the cute new boy" who was in her primary class. He was "tall" and he was "left handed."

Nicole and Paul went to school together from that day on. They would even walk home sometimes in elementary. One day Nicole was so frustrated because Paul was telling her that he didn't know if he should "break up" with his girlfriend cuz he liked another girl or if he should stay with the one that he already had. (They were in 5th grade.) Nicole just wanted Paul to like her and was getting sick of being the "go to girl" for advice and wanted to be the girl that everyone liked. In explaining her frustrations to her very wise mother, she was always told this "Nicole, those girls will be the ones that boys want to date but YOU will be the one that boys want to marry."

Years went by....and I mean years. Paul and Nicole never hung out in the same group. She was the choir girl and he was the class clown. They occasionally said "hi" to each other at church but that was the extent of their relationship. Paul got ready to leave on his mission and Nicole got ready to send off her high school sweetheart. Nicole went to college and started on her way to getting a degree in nursing. When Paul got home from his mission he wanted to ask Nicole to go out with him but found out that she had a pretty serious boyfriend. So more time went by. Paul decided that he wanted to help people and thought that going into the Navy was the best way to do it. So he enlisted and got the training to be one of the medics in the Navy. He got stationed out in California.

One day, Paul noticed that Nicole was on Facebook at the same time that he was. He thought to himself "I haven't talked to her in a while, I will just say 'Hi'. She is probably married and will tell me to stop talking to her but I will write her anyway." So he did. It kinda went like this:
Paul "Hey, hows it goin?"
Nicole (what the heck?) "Good hows it goin with you?" (Paul Adams? Writing me?)
Paul "Good" ........
(a few lines later)
Nicole "So what have you been up to?"
Paul "I am a medic in the navy and I leave for Iraq in two weeks"
(a few lines later)
Paul "I thought you were married"
Nicole "No, it didn't work out."
Paul "I'm sorry. You have always been so nice. You deserve the best."
Nicole (are you kiddin me?) "Who are you and what have you done with the Paul Adams I know?" (someone is playin a game with me. There is no way this is Paul)
Paul "What do you mean?"
Nicole "I mean this is not the same Paul I knew in high school"
Paul "I know. I changed a lot. Especially on my mission"
(a few lines later)
Paul "Do you think when I get home we could go out sometime?"
Nicole (my heart sounds like Thumper on BAMBI) "I think I might be able to pencil you in sometime." (play it cool)

That is where it all started. Of course I am the Nicole in the story. Now Paul is serving in Iraq and will hopefully be home in April. We want to get married next August. I cannot wait. I have never been so HAPPY in my entire life. Paul is my BEST FRIEND. My HAPPILY EVER AFTER is just beginning....and I LOVE it!!!

Here We Go....

I just decided to do this cuz I am addicted to reading other peoples blogs and thought it would be fun. This way all of my friends and family can keep up with me. Number two reason is because I am horrible at writing in my journal and thought that this would be much better. (I can't really get on Paul for writing in his when I don't even write in mine.)

A little bit about me... I am currently in the nursing program at the DATC and I love it. I graduate next December with my RN and I can't wait. I live at home with my parents (still) and am waiting for my boyfriend to get home from Iraq so that we can get married :)!!! Paul (thats him. I will probably just call him doc the rest of the time) is a medic in the navy and he will get home, hopefully, in April. I can't wait! So here we go....