VENTING

So I am not doing as good as I hoped I would be doing on this, but sometimes it is hard to come up with things to say. Last week was crazy and no fun. I failed 2 tests, my clinicals at the hospital did not go well, and to top it all off, I have a super soar throat that won't go away. GRRR.... (thats how I feel about it in case you didn't get it the first time.)

Moving on to greener pastures. Paul sent me some gorgeous flowers on Saturday. After I had got them and was talking to him about it he told me that he didn't know what they looked like, he just knew they were my favorite and so he sent me those ones. He is so sweet!! I love him. Sometimes I wonder why it all worked out the way it did. I mean we grew up together for cryin out loud and for some reason God thought it should work out just as he was leaving for WAR. What? I think I missed something. I grew up with the thought that Paul and I had absolutely NOTHING in common. I thought we were complete opposites. I am so glad that I was wrong because now he is my best friend. I don't know what I did to deserve someone like him but I thank God everyday that he is in my life now. I am so happy that we are together and I guess that understanding why we had to wait so long to be together is just going to have to come later.

Update on Paul. He is doing as good as can be assumed I guess. Right now he is on an extremely good base. One of the safest in Iraq. He has access to computers and phones everyday. It has one of the best hospitals that are there. They get cooked meals and he is taken care of pretty well. Paul just found out a couple of days ago though, that he is being sent to another base for the next two to three months. This base is not so safe. There is no way of communicating (ya we are talkin like, I won't hear anything from him for 2-4 weeks at a time). There is no electricity, no running water and he gets to eat those nasty meals in a bag. I think they're called MRE's or somethin. (he hates them and doesn't eat them so I have to send him some real food ASAP) Pretty much, he takes showers with a water bottle and baby wipes. Now Paul is a strong guy. He is 23 years old and has been taken care of himself for a long time. I know that he will survive the no water, no electricity, and the nasty food. It is the safety issue that I worry about. I just don't know why they had to chose him to do it. (Probably cuz he is good.) The Lord probably gets sick of hearing my prayers for him because I am constantly blessing him to be safe and to come home soon. But I guess this is teaching me that maybe I am prayin for the wrong thing. Maybe instead, I need to pray for the courage to accept what I may not understand right now. And I guess that includes praying for the faith to put Paul in the Lord's hands instead of my own.

Today was my vent day it sounds like. Sometimes I just need those days though. I think all of us do. In a way, I think it is our way of saying we cannot do it alone. We need the hugs that people give, we need the smiles and support of family and friends and sometimes we need someone just to listen. This is my way of saying I am scared to death that the person I love the most in this world may not come home. This is my way of admitting to the feelings that I have been trying so hard to cover up. For so long I have been trying to be strong and supportive for Paul even though it is him always being stronger for me. Some things happen whether you are ready for them or not. But at least now I know that I will be ok. And so will Paul...

Birthday

So I had a super fun birthday!!! My parents got me an I-pod (since my dad decided to steal mine and put his ridiculous cowboy music on there for some reason.) My mom got up super early and made me coffee cake for breakfast (which I love.) I got out of school early, and was home by myself for a few hours. That has not happened in a long time and I loved it!! Then once all of the guys got home from Deer Hunting, we went and ate at Good Wood. It was fabulous. My favorite part though was the hugs and songs I got from my nieces and nephews.

Sunday night we celebrated my birthday and at my Grandma Carter's house she was hilarious. We were already eating cake and she all of a sudden felt bad for not singing to me and thought I needed to blow out some candles. I told her that I was fine and I had already done it somewhere else but she wanted me to remember this birthday. So she got out the candles that are shaped into numbers, but she didn't have a two. So she decided to just do an upside down 5. It was so funny cuz when she went to light them she realized that the wicks were in the cake and she had nothing to light. We were all laughing for a long time. She did get her wish though, I won't forget this birthday.

I have some pictures I am going to post finally of our girls weekend. It was so fun!!!

P.S. I got an e-mail from Paul today and he was out on another mission but made it back safe. Whew!!!

Girls Weekend

So this past weekend all of the boys in my family (except for Caden who is on his mission) went deer hunting. So all the girls decided to have a girls weekend and it has been a blast! My sister in law DeeAnn and I came out to my sister Cami's house and we have been staying with her all weekend. I was blessed to sleep in the bed with Cami last night....the same night she took half of an ambien. I don't know if anyone else has experienced someone on ambien but it is quite the show. She thought Dee and I would like to watch some cartoons. Ya...not so much. I would probably be in trouble if I posted the rest of the fun evening. Sorry....

Yesterday my darling niece Lilly and I went shopping so I could get some jeans. It was a quick in and out of the mall. Lilly decided to not be so happy (I don't know why...I mean what girl does not love shopping.) So anyway she was screaming in the dressing room of vanity with me. It was lovely (should be said with a lot of sarcasm.)

Just a story about deer hunting and my birthday. (it's my birthday tomorrow by the way.) So my dad is big into hunting and my mom was supposed to have me in October. Well my mom had to be started on a Sunday (cuz my dad doesn't hunt on Sunday) so that he would be able to hunt. So while my mom is in the hospital my dad would drive down the mountain to a phone every few hours to check up on her and see when he needed to come to the hospital. Isn't that great? (once again, the sarcasm voice.) I was very lucky though to have been born on my great grandmother's birthday. We had so much fun sharing a birthday together and even though she has passed away now I still feel like we celebrate our birthdays together.

I am going to eat dinner with the girls and then go celebrate my birthday at my grandparents. I will take pictures and post them later.

P.S. i would update on paul, except that I haven't heard from him in the past 3 days.....

Once upon a time...

Once upon a time there was a little girl named Nicole. She loved to play house and imagine the time that she would get married to her very own prince. One Sunday when she was nine, Nicole went to church with her family. She was talking to her friends about how fun it was to play the day before and about all of the extremely important things that little girls talk about. All of a sudden, something caught her eye. A NEW BOY and he was walking her way. His name was Paul Adams, he was in her primary class and he was SOOO CUTE. That very day, Nicole went home and wrote in her journal about "the cute new boy" who was in her primary class. He was "tall" and he was "left handed."

Nicole and Paul went to school together from that day on. They would even walk home sometimes in elementary. One day Nicole was so frustrated because Paul was telling her that he didn't know if he should "break up" with his girlfriend cuz he liked another girl or if he should stay with the one that he already had. (They were in 5th grade.) Nicole just wanted Paul to like her and was getting sick of being the "go to girl" for advice and wanted to be the girl that everyone liked. In explaining her frustrations to her very wise mother, she was always told this "Nicole, those girls will be the ones that boys want to date but YOU will be the one that boys want to marry."

Years went by....and I mean years. Paul and Nicole never hung out in the same group. She was the choir girl and he was the class clown. They occasionally said "hi" to each other at church but that was the extent of their relationship. Paul got ready to leave on his mission and Nicole got ready to send off her high school sweetheart. Nicole went to college and started on her way to getting a degree in nursing. When Paul got home from his mission he wanted to ask Nicole to go out with him but found out that she had a pretty serious boyfriend. So more time went by. Paul decided that he wanted to help people and thought that going into the Navy was the best way to do it. So he enlisted and got the training to be one of the medics in the Navy. He got stationed out in California.

One day, Paul noticed that Nicole was on Facebook at the same time that he was. He thought to himself "I haven't talked to her in a while, I will just say 'Hi'. She is probably married and will tell me to stop talking to her but I will write her anyway." So he did. It kinda went like this:
Paul "Hey, hows it goin?"
Nicole (what the heck?) "Good hows it goin with you?" (Paul Adams? Writing me?)
Paul "Good" ........
(a few lines later)
Nicole "So what have you been up to?"
Paul "I am a medic in the navy and I leave for Iraq in two weeks"
(a few lines later)
Paul "I thought you were married"
Nicole "No, it didn't work out."
Paul "I'm sorry. You have always been so nice. You deserve the best."
Nicole (are you kiddin me?) "Who are you and what have you done with the Paul Adams I know?" (someone is playin a game with me. There is no way this is Paul)
Paul "What do you mean?"
Nicole "I mean this is not the same Paul I knew in high school"
Paul "I know. I changed a lot. Especially on my mission"
(a few lines later)
Paul "Do you think when I get home we could go out sometime?"
Nicole (my heart sounds like Thumper on BAMBI) "I think I might be able to pencil you in sometime." (play it cool)

That is where it all started. Of course I am the Nicole in the story. Now Paul is serving in Iraq and will hopefully be home in April. We want to get married next August. I cannot wait. I have never been so HAPPY in my entire life. Paul is my BEST FRIEND. My HAPPILY EVER AFTER is just beginning....and I LOVE it!!!

Here We Go....

I just decided to do this cuz I am addicted to reading other peoples blogs and thought it would be fun. This way all of my friends and family can keep up with me. Number two reason is because I am horrible at writing in my journal and thought that this would be much better. (I can't really get on Paul for writing in his when I don't even write in mine.)

A little bit about me... I am currently in the nursing program at the DATC and I love it. I graduate next December with my RN and I can't wait. I live at home with my parents (still) and am waiting for my boyfriend to get home from Iraq so that we can get married :)!!! Paul (thats him. I will probably just call him doc the rest of the time) is a medic in the navy and he will get home, hopefully, in April. I can't wait! So here we go....