Monday, August 31, 2009

Isn't it amazing how much everything can change in your life in such a small amount of time? I was thinking about just deleting everything on this blog and starting a new one because I can't believe how stupid I was about Paul and what I wrote about him. But then I started thinking that even though I totally think it is stupid now, I really believed that he was who he said he was then. Let me just say now that I am soooo lucky that it didn't work out with us. He is not anything that he said he was and my dad knew a lot more than I gave him credit for. So I guess I am going to keep this one because even though I may not like it, my past is my past and that is just how it is.

I feel like I have learned so much in the past year. I don't even know where to begin. I can see the hand of the Lord in my life everyday. When I finally decided to just give my life over to Him and let Him take control my life has turned almost 180 degrees. I would not beable to do school without Him. There is no way I would pass the classes. And now that I am getting close to graduating I am just seeing all of these opportunities open up in front of me. More blessings than I can even number. One of the blessings is the chance that I will have to do my preceptorship in the Neuro Trauma Unit at Primary Childrens Medical Center. I was so worried that I would only be able to do med surg at some hospital I hated. But the Lord knows me and knows where he wants me to be. I know it will probably be a sad area to work in but I am so excited to be able to have the experience that I am going to have learning from incredible nurses and meeting some incredible children.

Now for the future. I am so excited to graduate I can hardly stand it!!! I graduate on December ninth and my little brother gets home from his mission the next day. I can hardly wait. I think once I graduate I really want to focus my extra time on doing service missions in countries like Africa and Haiti that need so much help medically. I want to go to South America and work in their orphanges. I want to travel the world and help in any way that I can. I am really excited and I hope that I will have the time and money to be able to accomplish some of this stuff. I also am excited just to travel to some fun places. Like Europe or Greece or somewhere fun. I woudln't beable to do any of this without the Lord in my life. I am so grateful for all that I have.

I just wanted to post because I feel like I am a different person. I just feel like my views in life are different and the things that I thought I needed in my life are things that I can totally live without. Especially right now when the Lord is giving me so many opportunities. There are still moments that I want to be married and have kids but after learning all of the things I have this past year I know that it will happen when it is supposed to. Right now I am looking more forward to serving other people and moving out on my own and making me a better person. These are things that I wouldn't be able to do if I were married and have kids. People always used to tell me that you learn so much between the ages of 20 and 25 and you change so much. So you shouldn't even get married until later. I never believed them. But now I couldn't agree more. There are experiences that I would have never had if things had worked out the way I had planned them in high school (be married by 21, start kids at 22 and have six of them by the time i was 30. WHAT?) ya that is pretty much why the Lord is in charge. Thank heaven.


Matt and Jami said...

Good job Nick! Love you!

The Averys said...

Nicole! You are such an amazing woman! It's so true that we can't try to put timetables on what God has planned for us. My mom (and prob everyone's mom) always says, "If you live the gospel, Heavenly Father will take good care of you." I just usually don't understand why He does some of the things He does while He's taking care of us. ;) Love ya lots, Nikki!